The Random Adventures of Fenir Greyback
by islay12
Summary: Well my brother Joefish has been spouting of great fanfic ideas so I got him to dictate one. The very Random Adventures of Fenir Greyback which will be updated when we see fit. Crack!Fic
1. IQ Tests

**The Adventures of Fenir Greyback**

I and my brother thought of this randomly, though I must give the credit to him, Joefish11 thought of the idea, I only typed

**Cast of Characters**

FENIR GREYBACK- DOI!!!

THE GIANT 'SQUIB' (I'M A SQUID!!! D! D! D!)

DELORIS UMBRIDGE AKA THE TOAD

THE GOLDEN TRIO (OVIOUSLY)

GINNY WEASLEY (…)

LOONEY LOVEGOOD (LUNA)  
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (I"LL JOIN YOU WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!)

GRAWP- ROAR!!

HAGGER- ISN'T IT CUTE!

Caution contains DH spoilers

**Chapter1: IQ TESTS**

Educational degree #478 (Dam there's a lot of these)

All Squibs, mudbloods, Blood traitors please report to the ministry for questioning

Please take a shower as we do not want 'filthy' mudbloods in our pureblood halls

(Short interlude later)

At the Ministry

The golden Trio has entered the ministry as all except Harry fit under that category mentioned earlier.

Ron: Wait, Harry why are you here?

Harry: I'm an Undesirable #1

Hermione: Oh, but what about all those fangirls who desire you?

Harry: I locked them up in a closet, all except Ginny and you.

Ron: WHAT!!! Hermione! I thought you loved me, we were going to have two kids called Hugo and Rose!

Hermione: What? Those are stupid names.

(Fenir Greyback randomly walks up to Hermione)

Fenir: OOOOOHHH!!! I'm a Psychotic werewolf! I'm going to bite you! OOOHHH!!!!

Harry: What were you saying about Oliver Wood?

Fenir: Wha?

Ron: Ya you said he played for the Psychotic bunnies, Fenir.

Fenir: What? He plays for Puddiham United

Hermione: Why is Fenir here anyway?

Fenir: Fine I'll leave, (Faints)

Hemrione: Not exactly what I had in mind

Harry: Souldn't we countine on to the questioning?

Ron: Sure whatever

(In the Department of Ministry)

Ron: Bloody Hell!

Harry: Shit there's a lot of Mudbloods

Hemrione: Hey!

Harry: did you hear something?

Ron: Just the sound of an unfaithful girlfriend

(In the Questioning Room)

Umbridge: You know why you are here.

Ron: Acually no we don't

Umbridge: You are are because I am going to ask youa series of random IQ tests, accually random questions but that's besides the point

Harry: Okayyyyyyy

Umbridge: First Question: What is your favourite colour?

Ron: WTF?

Hermione: Purple

Harry: Why do you what to know this?

Umbridge: Question 2: Have you ever convinced the Half-breed Hagrid, that Pokemon cards are real?

Ron: What are those? Wait, Yes! I have no ideas what they are but YES!

Hermione: Never, that would be mean

Ron: I you where supposed to be our friend!

Harry: How many times are we talking, because I have a photo album of those fun memories

Fenir: I'm a Psychotic werewolf, fear my rabies!

Umbridge: Third question: Who where you supporting in the FIFA under20?  
Ron: IRELAND!!!!

Hermione: I'm not a football fan but England

Harry: Hawaii! ALOHA!!!!!

Fenir: Into the to Wolf cave! (Batman music) Wolfman!

(Later)

Umbridge: I have your IQ tests back!

Umbridge: Ronald Weasley, because of your oblivious nature towards muggles, your IQ is 4,693,268

Ron: YA!!!

Umbridge: Hermione Granger, since you are absolutely no fun at all and are a huge party-pooper your IQ is 7

Hermione: WTF?? (Faints)

Umbridge: Harry Potter you IQ is a regular IQ: 104

Harry: cool

Umbridge: Fenir, you weren't supposed to be here but your IQ is infinite

Fenir: Today's episode is sponsored by Gringotts, Apparently it's Gringott-licous


	2. Fat Rap

**The Adventures of Fenir Greyback**

I and my brother thought of this randomly, though I must give the credit to him, Joefish11 thought of the idea, I only typed

**Cast of Characters**

FENIR GREYBACK- DOI!!!

THE GIANT 'SQUIB' (I'M A SQUID!!! D! D! D!)

DELORIS UMBRIDGE AKA THE TOAD

THE GOLDEN TRIO (OVIOUSLY)

GINNY WEASLEY (…)

LOONEY LOVEGOOD (LUNA)  
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (I"LL JOIN YOU WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!)

GRAWP- ROAR!!

HAGGER- ISN'T IT CUTE!

Caution contains DH spoilers

**Fenir G****reyback Rap**

(In comes the Giant Squid, pushed by Death Eaters)

Umbridge: Giant Squib, We have called you here today because you are a squib

Squid: Squid, D! D! D! I keep telling you people this!

Umbridge: Yes we know squib just answer the questions and we'll try to not take away your giantness, Fatso

Squid: But I'm taking the low carb diet!

Fenir: I'm taking the High Carb diet

I'm Fat Fenir, Fat Fenir

I can't rap fo beans and I like meat!

Fo Shizzil, Yo Yo

Squib get off your feet and give us your wands

Or we'll throw you in a big wet pond

Fo Shizzi, Fo Shizzi, Give me a beat Toad!

Umbridge: Ribit, yo yo, Ribit, yo yo

Fenir: So get off your feet, or we'll steal you low carb diet

And your wands yo yo

And I can rap with this toad

And with this rap I can your joystick

Do do da, da, da, da, da, da Can't touch this, can't touch this

And trash you game

and you can't take the KFC drive thought

And throw it at a driver in North Carolina

Fat Fenir Fat Fenir

Up in the Yukon, we took inflating world,

Take the canadaian fridge

Do do da, da, da, da, da, da Can't touch this, can't touch this

With the sprite and Coke Cola 0

I'm no player, get off my yo yo yo yo

I was good, go my freestyle rap

Get off that poster yo and rap with Fenir

Do do da, da, da, da, da, da Can't touch this, can't touch this

I'm on Tic tacs, on tic tacs

Tic Tacs!!!!!! Ps3, copper, can't sue for the computer

Go Dobby, rap out! He's Emo

Sell me your soul for unicorn Cheese

I'm fast, I'm cool, I'm the magical Hogwarts School

Do do da, da, da, da, da, da Can't touch this, can't touch this

Billy Talent an't pop stars,

They're rockstars

Go Quittich, Go Harry, Go Ron

Weasley is our king,

And Malfoy is our queen

Do do da, da, da, da, da, da Can't touch this, can't touch this

Fat Fenir, Fat fenir,

FO SHIZZI!!!!!

(Fenir faints)

Umbrige: Yo, ribit, yo

Squid: Well, we can all agree that I'm a squid

Unbridge: ya, ya, yo, yo Ribit, wait You're a SQUIB!

Squid: so close

Umbridge: Fenir, I you souldn't be a werewolf anymore, you should be a professional Harper, like M&M

Fenir (gets up): Give me a beat!

Umbridge: Yo, yo, yo

(Squid is locked away)

OOOOOOO

The Rap was dictated to me and is unfortunately longer. Just he was going so fast at I couldn't keep up. This is about 1/10th of the actually rap. While reading this over he was rolling around laughing on the floor


End file.
